Slow Cooker Pork: The Lazy Chef’s Secret Weapon

Are you ready to embark on a culinary journey that involves minimal effort, maximum deliciousness, and a side of sass? This pork recipe practically cooks itself—so you can sit back, relax, and pretend you worked really hard on dinner.

Makes: 4 servings (or one epic solo feast—no judgment here).
Serving Size: 1/4 pork tenderloin (146g).
Prep Time: 15 minutes of feeling like a cooking wizard.
Total Time: 2 hours 15 minutes (mostly doing nothing).
Nutrition Facts: 218 calories of pure joy / 16g carb / 25g pro / 8.5g fat (aka the tasty kind).

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The Magic Ingredients

• 1 pound pork tenderloin (454g) – aka the star of the show.
• ¼ cup packed brown sugar (55g) – because we like our pork a little sweet and sassy.
• 1/2 teaspoon smoked paprika – for that “I grilled this, totally” vibe.
• 1/2 teaspoon garlic powder – vampires hate this, but your taste buds won’t.
• 1/2 teaspoon onion powder – subtle oniony goodness.
• 1/2 teaspoon chili powder – just enough heat to make things interesting.
• 1/2 teaspoon Italian seasoning – let’s pretend we’re in Tuscany.
• 1/2 teaspoon dried rosemary – the sophisticated herb.
• 1/2 teaspoon garlic salt – because plain salt is boring.
• 1/2 teaspoon pepper – a pinch of attitude.
• 1/2 cup beef broth (120g) – the secret sauce base.
• 2 tablespoons butter (28g) – because butter makes everything better.
• 2 large fresh rosemary sprigs – for aesthetics and flavor.

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How to Cook Like a Kitchen Rockstar

1. Make the Magic Dust:
   In a small bowl, mix together all the spices and brown sugar like you’re creating a potion to make your pork irresistible. Seriously, this is your moment.
2. Pamper Your Pork:
   Pat that pork dry like it just got out of the shower, then give it a luxurious rub-down with your magic spice mix. Yes, we’re turning pork into royalty today.
3. Set the Stage:
   Pour the beef broth into your slow cooker—this is the spa your pork deserves. Toss in the pork like a diva making an entrance, along with any extra spice rub because waste not, want not.
4. Butter It Up:
   Lay slices of butter on top of the pork like little hats of flavor. Add the fresh rosemary sprigs to the broth for extra pizzazz.
5. Let the Magic Happen:
   Close the lid and let your slow cooker do its thing. Low for 2 hours or high for 1 hour—your call. Use this time wisely: nap, binge-watch something, or contemplate the meaning of life.
6. Slice and Soak:
   Take out the tenderloin, slice it up like you’re in a fancy cooking show, and pop those slices back into the slow cooker for a quick sauce soak. This is where the pork becomes legendary.
7. Serve Like a Boss:
   Plate those glorious pork slices, drizzle with sauce, and serve with your favorite sides (mashed potatoes, veggies, or whatever makes your heart happy). Bask in the compliments because you’ve earned them.

Pro Tip: When people ask for the recipe, just smile mysteriously and say, “It’s a family secret.” 😉

Enjoy your slow-cooked masterpiece, chef extraordinaire!